just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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