went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
