so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
