Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
