Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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