and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
