oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
