He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
