we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
