Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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