she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize