i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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