From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
