piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
