the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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