i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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