Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
