When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
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