listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
