Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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