Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
