I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize