Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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