i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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