he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
