just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
His nipple licking is glorious
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