This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
