so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
