no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
