so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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