I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
