So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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