Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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