But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize