we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
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Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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