hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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