How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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