Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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