People in love make me want to vomit
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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