i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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