I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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