Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
home. puking in laundry basket.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
