Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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