This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
