Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
