But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
