But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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