i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
