you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My dick has a subreddit
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
