When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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