Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
