Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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