Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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