Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
A+ Viking dick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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