yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Randomize
