She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
