she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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