my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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