you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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