UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
