well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
