shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
