last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
