I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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