Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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