accomplished twins. life is a go
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
