All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize