Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you traded sex for a burrito?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
