god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
